Parashat Chaye Sara
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Synopsis
Chaye Sarah starts with the death of Sarah and Abraham’s negotiations for the cave of machpelah which he buys from Ephron the Hittite son of Zohar for 400 silver shekels even though it was offered to him for free. After the burial Abraham sends a servant to his native land (Aram-naharaim) to find Isaac a wife. The servant finds Rebekah and brings her back to Canaan to meet Isaac and they get married and fall in love. Aaaaahhhhh!!!
Themes
So what is there to be learnt from in Chaye Sarah. There are four themes.
1) Jewish attitudes at the time of death
2) Paying the full value of what something’s worth
3) Beauty
4) The meaning of “love”
1) Jewish attitudes at the time of death
Abraham loses Sarah who he has been through so much with and yet he continues on with daily life whilst mourning for her. What is the best way of dealing with loss of a loved one? The shiva process is designed to surround mourners with loved ones in their hour of loss and prepare them for returning to normality. Its interesting that death in Judaism is very much about the mourners rather than the deceased and looking to the future. This perhaps is why after the burial Abraham sends his servant to find his son Isaac a wife, an expression of his willingness to look to the future after loss.
Read more: This is an interesting article on the psychological stages of mourning and how the shiva process helps it http://www.biomed.lib.umn.edu/hw/psychj.html
2) Paying the full value of what something’s worth
We all love a freebie but Abraham rejected one when he was offered the cave of machpelah. The question is why did he reject the seemingly gracious offer. One reason is perhaps that he didn’t quite trust the owner of said cave and therefore felt that by paying for the cave it guaranteed the security of his families burial place. Alternatively maybe that was just the custom of the time to be offered something for free and then reject it out of politeness. Either way there is a message and a value in “paying the full value of what something is worth” This can relate to the idea of doing something properly and to the best of your ability, appreciating what is valuable as well as, perhaps more obviously, not cheating others and yourself. Whether you are paying with money or time make sure that if its valuable to you; you give it the respect it deserves and pay in full.
3) Beauty
This wasn’t really mentioned in the synopsis so don’t worry you haven’t missed anything. The parashah doesn’t say much about Rebekah other than that she is beautiful and that she helps Abraham’s servant at the well in Aram – Naharaim so why is beauty considered a theme of this parashah. It is do with the nature of Rebekah’s beauty. What was beautiful about Rebekah was not the fact that she was physically attractive but that she helped Abraham’s servant after he’d come from the Negev to northern Syria, which is no short distance. These days we spend a lot of time preening ourselves in front of a mirror and making sure we are dressed in fancy fashions but do we always make sure we treat people in the way of Rebekah, not always perhaps. Simple thing to do this weekend, make sure you say please and thank you it always goes down well.
Read more: social action day 25
4) The meaning of “love”
The theme of the meaning of love in this parashah is triggered by the phrase “he took Rebekah as his wife, and Isaac loved her”. It seems a little strange to us in the modern world that she would be his wife and then he would love her as most couples spend a few years together before taking the step to marriage and the wedding is the summit of their love. Isaac and Rebekah build their relationship after they were married over many years like Tevye and Golda in fiddler on the roof when Tevye asks the immortal words “Do you love me?” So then according to Chaye Sarah the real meaning of love is the building of a relationship and giving time to somebody that you love. This applies not only for husband and wife but friends and family and the importance of not taking our relationships for granted.
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